Jack White writes EPIC rant about his ‘Guacamole Recipe Scandal’

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Jack White
is angry. Very angry. He is so angry, he has written an EPIC letter to
journalists everywhere to stop talking about his glorious Guacamole
Recipe.

Oh dear. Almost two weeks ago,
we wrote about how Jack White’s booking agency William Morris Endeavor
Entertainment, banned the University of Oklahoma from future White
performances and its other artists. The school newspaper published his
contract and rider (which included the now famous Guacamole Recipe) and they were not happy.

Jack White blacklists University of Oklahoma after Guacamole Recipe leaks (Included)

People are still talking about it, and Jack White has had enough.

He’s finally addressing some of the points of the rider which have gotten him a lot of ridicule:

  1. The guacamole recipe is not his. It’s an inside joke. They basically
    put it there to see which local promoter can make the guacamole best.
    (LOL, the irony!)

  2. The “No Bananas Rule” is because someone in his crew is allergic to bananas (so it’s not him)

I don’t know. If his intent is for this story to stop, I think he just extended it for a couple more weeks.

The student journalists of the University of Oklahoma he attempted to school just won. Amazing.

Read Jack White’s letter in full:

dear journalists and other people looking for drama or a diva,

even in the age of the short attention span internet article, it’s still hard to believe you are STILL writing about this:

http://ift.tt/1L0fzOI

wow. classy.

seems like there’s a new rule number one for up and coming
journalists: don’t let the facts get in the way of click bait. at the
risk of incurring even more of this hoo haa (and i’ve definitely turned
my cheek more than once lately) and even though our management sent out a
letter to clarify this, and since this seems to be all anyone can ask
me about lately, here’s the real deal, and hopefully it’ll explain this
nonsensical scenario and we can move on with our lives. (or what have
you).

first off, this is none of your business, but i have no specific
demands in my dressing room. i know i could ask for lots of things but i
actually don’t ask for ANYTHING. i take with me what i need, and that
ain’t much. anything on the rider is for the band and the crew. this
“guacamole recipe” is my hilarious tour managers inside joke with the
local promoters, it’s his recipe, not mine. it’s just something to break
up the boredom, seeing who can make it best. though i wouldn’t know
because i’ve never had it. i can’t even make kool aid let alone cook any
real food enough to have a “recipe.” sorry, i don’t have that talent.

bananas: did it occur to anyone someone on the tour might have an
allergy to them? no? hmmm. one day some fantasy journalist out there
will call someone in the biz and actually have a rider explained to
them, maybe none of them have ever been on tour. oh well, let’s move on,
first amendment issues: i fully believe in the freedom of the press
(though the supposed search for truth from the press requires
microscopes and a some morton salt), and i also defend anyone’s right to
free speech (just look at my lack of respect for grammar in this letter
and tell me i’m not for communicating freely) and i defend the right to
free information in regards to public funds, but never in my 20 years
of playing shows has my contract and tour rider been published in the
paper that i recall.

do you know why we don’t do that or want that? a hundred articles
about bananas, free speech, and guacamole is why; it’s because people
don’t understand what a rider is or what the terms of a contract are.
they’re out of their element, and you can’t blame them for it. and
people who write about that know this. people WANT a rider to be a list
of demands that a diva insists occur lest he or she refuse to play a
note of music.

but in reality, it’s just some food and drinks backstage for the
hundred workers and guests who have to live in a concrete bunker for 15
hours. some people bring their own living rooms on tour, some people ask
for a huge spread. who cares? what you’re looking for is someone
throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get their brown m and m’s, sorry
to disappoint.

someone printed that i’m never going to oklahoma again? not true. i
love oklahoma, that’s why i booked this show instead of playing chicago
or atlanta for four times as much money. ask around in tulsa. i’ve been
there at least three times on these last two albums. i love it there.
our booking agent warned the college that other artists might not book
shows there? of course they did, it’s bad business what that school
paper did and really rude. of course they are going to tell them to wise
up.

am i pissed at the students at oklahoma university? absolutely not.
am i disappointed in young journalists at their school paper?
absolutely. but i forgive them, they’re young and have learned their
lesson about truth and ethics hopefully. all they have to do is google
this to know that it’s not worth it. look for real problems instead next
time. look for the truth, not fake drama. i got pissed during my show
and berated the crowd? no. sorry, didn’t happen. i made jokes about the
paper publishing that info, so which of us is thin skinned? they have
freedom of speech but i don’t? at my show? ok. i guess the rules change
for different people. the crowd were amazing and we played for 2 and a
half hours that night. people were told to delete photos on their
camera? i dont know much about that but it must be a miscommunication
about what was public property at the college and the contract we had
with the university to let us do our work in peace; but i’ll give you an
example, if someone working at a theater we played at started taking
pictures of all of our workers and our gear they’d probably get fired by
their theater or promoter. sorry to the student paper budding press
papparazzi on that one, but is this a tmz assignment or can you give us
some peace while we try to put on a show for the students? give us a
break man.

i know it’s a fun thing for people to try to turn me into a jerk and a
diva, but in this case it’s pretty ridiculous and has almost nothing to
do with me. my relationship with the fans at that show and how we got
to a new place together through music remains intact and i’d love to do
it again with them.

i think that’s everything, can i go back to making music now? no? ok. crochet it is.

jack white

Via OU Daily

via Blogger http://ift.tt/1Jjr5qV

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